About The Blog
This is a blog about psychotherapy for the public and for therapists. I am eliciting questions about therapy and will write posts to address the questions and concerns that you send in or post as comments.
The general outlook is cross-theoretical, reflecting the material on my main site, www.psytx.com.
Jeffery Smith
2/9/2010
I have been in therapy for 10 months with a recent change to a new therapist (through a university training program for psychologists). I live in Sydney Australia. I was told that I had passive-aggressive characteristics (probably true) but I feel I have numerous other issues such as intense hate and anger from childhood. I have found both student therapists to concentrate on my interactions with people during the week using CBT. This has helped somewhat by making me calmer, but for the amount of time and huge emotional effort I have put in I don’t think I have come far.
Although we have talked about the fact that I HAVE intense hate and anger, as well as bitterness,guilt and sadness, apart from saying that we need to see where it comes from they avoid really TALKING about it, except to tell me my hate is spilling into other areas and I am thick skinned,
then they hurry on to talk about something else.
Also they seem aloof, almost hiding behind the therapist title. I know they are students and I let them ‘get away’ with a lot (Eg cancelling an appointment without a courteous reason, despite my giving opportunity etc, or implying subtely that I am lying when I am not and some other hurtful things). I got to a point of rage with them after my last session and have decided not to go back. I am also furious with myself too for taking on board their aura (and practice) of being above answering some of MY relevant questions regarding the therapy.
I’d like to see a therapist who is willing to work with emotions and is more like a human than a parrot repeating endless meaningless questions. I really like the honest approach that you talk about on your website ie genuine communication between client and therapist
How do I go about finding a therapist who can use both catharsis and also re-working of negative self image and other deep cuts from childhood. What questions should I ask them.
Many thanks for your incredibly easy to read website and the information contained in it that has the unmistakable ring of truth and experience to it. I believe your approach is unique and yet I hope that there is someone a little like you in Sydney.
Michele
Dear Michele,
Thanks for your powerful comment. I’ll try to answer, but please know that I don’t know you, nor your therapists, so I am just gathering what I can from your words. Currently therapists tend to divide themselves between CBT, Dynamic and Experiential. Yours were CBT, and they are focused most on changing values and basic assumptions about life. Your feelings may not have much to do with that. CBT also comes from Watson’s tradition of thinking of the mind as a black box and not asking questions about why. Watson was afraid of finding homosexuality, so he rejected all introspection, and CBT still has some reticence too. On the other hand, your feelings first need to be listened to, which means introspection. Both dynamic therapists and experiential ones are oriented towards doing that. The experiential ones focus more on the feeling and the dynamic ones more on the why. Psychoanalysts come from the dynamic camp and I notice there are a number of psychoanalytic institutes in Sydney. The negative there is that they may not be so practical, but some analysts really are. Maybe an analyst who is ready to deal with trauma would be a good start, since trauma pretty much requires some flexibility and real engagement.
Here is one website that seems to give you a little sense of what the people are about: http://www.goodtherapy.com.au/sitemap_search_results/locality-proftype/96-1-0/1
Dear Jeffery (Dr Smith) not sure what you like to be called
Thank you for your quick and helpful reply.
I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said an analyst who can deal with trauma would be a good place to start. I do feel that. Even though my life is not full of dramatic stories, the deep wounds just won’t go away.
I had a quick look at the website you mentioned. It looks good. The therapists are upfront about what style of therapy they do. I will look further at it and seek out a therapist who actually engages. That is one essential element.
Thank you again. I have been to many websites and been quite confused but this one is like very clear and down to earth.
Michele
Are you the “Jeffery Smith, M.D.” who helped Robert B. Oxnam during his discovery of and ultimate acceptance of MPD (D.I.D.)?
Yes, I did help Robert Oxnam, and wrote the epilogue in his book, A Fractured Mind. Thanks for asking.